So I finally showed up for the Miracle Fruit party and ordered some tablets made from miracle fruit pulp:
I had some limes ready when the UPS guy arrived. Not surprisingly, they tasted like some sort of limeade.
Then I ate my lunch. Cucumber developed an odd sweetness as an aftertaste. Later, I picked up coffee and some neon sour gummy worms at 7-11. The coffee was - not surprisingly - unchanged. The sour worms were pleasant, like regular gummy worms sprinkled with sugar.
When I got off work I picked up some products to try:
- 100% Lime Juice
- I was looking for a single serving of apple cider or cranberry juice. I hate cranberries, so I figured it would be a great test. But I couldn't find those products and gave up when I found lime juice. Like the limes it had a taste like limeade. I only drank a bit, I didn't want to end up overdosing on acids and vomiting.
- Kosher Dill Baby Whole Pickle
- Had a similar sweetness to cucumbers. Not unpleasant, just weird.
- Kosher Dill Spear
- Similar to the baby cucumber, but slightly more intense.
- Roma Tomato
- Again with the weird sweetness. It reminds me of an artificial sweetener, like saccharine.
- As a control I swished some hydrogen peroxide solution around my mouth. Not surprisingly there was no effect, as it is basic.
- Rather mild saccharine-like taste.
- Sugar-free sweet pickle relish
- Now with double the fake sugar taste. Bleh.
- I had high hopes for buttermilk. It was like drinking liquefied yogurt. Really bad liquid yogurt.
- Natural Peanut Butter
- Another control product. I didn't expect anything, I just really wanted a break from the weird sweetness flavor.
Now shit gets real: vinegar.
- White White Vinegar
- Very sweet. My lips are tingling, like the rest of my mouth is aware this is a bad idea even if my taste buds are giving the thumbs up. Otherwise not bad. I could imagine my teenage self drinking this if he thought it would inebriate him.
- Balsamic Vinegar
- Similar to the white vinegar. If I watered vinegar down it might be drinkable. Balsamic has a little more character, similar to the difference between red and white wine.
- Granny-Smith Apple
- This really muted the flavor of the apple. This was an interesting test, because Granny Smith is my favorite apple, because it is sour. With the miracle fruit my sense is why even bother? If I wanted a simple sweet apple I'd eat some garbage golden delicious. Though at least the apple still had the crispness of Granny Smith. But absent that sour-sweet juice, why bother? Feh.
- A write-up from the M.I.T.-admissions blog (?) mentioned that strawberries were amazing. They were pretty good, one of the few things I could imagine wanting more of.
- Were bleh. That could have been more an effect of being Utah winter berries though.
- The effect on pineapple was to make it a little too sweet.
- No effect.
- It was a bit harsh, but maybe that was because it was Pitu brand.
- Mojito Mix
- Sweet and minty. The weird artificial sweet wasn't as evident in this.
- It might be my imagination, but I feel like it intensified the first shock of putting wasabi on the tongue. Or I just haven't done that very much recently (it's great when I have nasal congestion). On the other hand, the spice I usually put on my green beans at dinner seemed more intense too...
So, that was kind of amusing. Probably worth the ten bucks I paid. I'm looking forward to trying it on my niece and nephew, maybe my mom. Eventually they'll stop eating what I hand to them.
The biggest disappointment was what the miracle fruit tablets did to cherry Doctor Pepper. They made it taste like Coca-Cola. Gross.
*: Towns in Utah have a distinct street-grid system. At the center of every town I have been in is the intersection of Main and Center Streets. Emanating out from that are 100 North, 100 South, 100 West, 100 East, and then 200 for each direction. On top of that, each street is divided into North/South and East/West. So I work on the street East 100 South, which is south of Center and East of Main.